probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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