clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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