I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
