Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thus making me awesome and them whores
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
