Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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