i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
