is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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