Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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