eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
