Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
