At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
