I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
