Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
