my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
