Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
