Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
