Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
