i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
