come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
