Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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