Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
