He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
