She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
