Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
