In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
