Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Boobs speak an international language.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
