Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
