i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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