are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
