So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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