just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
