thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
