i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
