it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
