Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
