i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
