Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
