I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
