I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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