I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize