I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
