we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
