O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
