Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
