I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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