I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
