But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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