"it" just moved
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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