I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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