dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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