I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
