I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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