don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
