just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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