So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
