how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
