Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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