I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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