for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
