Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize