Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
