You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
