I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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